THE FALL OF THE NARCISSIST
“What if all I remember is saying NO?!”
mask drop
Their Essay Failed Her. Our Voice Won’t.
EVERYBODY SCREAM
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SHOW US THE ESSAYS
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EVERYBODY SCREAM * SHOW US THE ESSAYS *
Why the Narcissist’s Mask Is Falling Now
Every day we are hearing and seeing more and more voices come forward. The details, the chats, the excuses, the blame. Watch the “news,” scroll on any platform, we are inundated with stories of SA and attacks that have been unspoken of or at least not in our face or “feed” daily. It is terrifying and it is REAL. The fall of the narcissist is upon us NOW. This is clarity and reality of what is pouring into the collective. The patriarchal systemic acceptance of the behaviors we are witnessing is crumbling. This does not mean ALL men are “bad,” however we need to hear from those that are standing in their own true masculine to show us differently. History has shown us it is going to always to get a little bit darker before the light is glowing again… at least with balance. Right now the grit is gritty. To all of those that have been victims of SA and speaking up now thank you keep being brave. YES, your voice matters and we are all here to support the end of this inhumane treatment of others. This topic could be the longest and most passionate I’ve ever spoken on being I have worked and recovered from SA myself and with countless clients.
If you have ever encountered such in your lifetime you will absolutely know what it looks and feels like to have fallen prey to the quiet progression of the game . However, If you have not, take notes, and trust me when I say if you feel like you are engaging in any dynamic with a person exhibiting these behaviors RUN . Many have experienced narcissistic or abusive relationships and behaviors at very least glimpsed the shadows they project and have never faced that they embody.
Whether a family member, a partner, a co-worker , a peer at school, an authority figure, they all move the same. Once you have seen and felt it you believe you will never fall prey or victim to the torturous loop created and the suffering you are left with when they feel seen or called out and this is what we are witnessing now as we start to talk. We want to yell!! We ARE DONE.
How Narcissistic Abuse Begins: The Grooming Phase
To educate : the beginning of the encounter with a narcissistic person is the part that most mistake as the things we yearn for.,surface persona. In the beginning the person gives you the best performance of what they believe you need or want. You are showered with illusions of friendship, acceptance, love, understanding and “connection.” It feels magical and mesmerizing. Just the friend or person ya need. The most interesting part in my experience is that this grooming phase can last for one day, for years, or indefinitely. When I started to write I was originally psychoeducating on the personality disorder. Then I realized we cannot keep using this as a pathological excuse.
This grooming …this part… is tailor made just for YOU to catch a glimmer they are reflecting back to you of what you are. A beautiful human deserving of respect and not the target that is shiny and new. They will spend time studying you or sometimes if you are “caught” in just the right moment , after analyzing, gathering “data,” and creating a narrative that is purely focused on their getting whatever instant gratification hit it happens so quick your head is spinning. The charming charismatic persona they bring is all part of the manipulation. It is not always easy to identify because they are masters at creating in real time. So much so that they believe the lies are truths are the same thing and are tactfully planning out how to remain hidden so you will commit to the story that will hopefully keep you looped forever. YOU remain hidden while they continue to destroy lives. If you show signs of “knowing” they’ve siphoned your emotional energy it’s a next best opportunity . This is where most victims are so traumatized and/or terrified that they stay silent or give up.
The Pattern: Grandiosity, Projection and Gaslighting
Through my experience working with clients in countless therapy sessions it is self doubt that is held by the victim of the abuse that occurs first and it only escalates over time . This is the pattern of the game that repeats. Grandiosity and superiority, the need for recognition for achievements and superiority is so loud from the abuser it drowns out any attempt to break silence. In an attempt to regain any grounding the victim will begin to question them even more attempting to get answers. That thing that the narc desires is still this because it is the only way to engage . The confusion and questioning is not yours , It is theirs. Their wound becomes yours. You take it on as the projections continues. The love you felt for yourself dissipates as they feed off of your energy to survive.
The exaggeration of these achievements are high fived, the constant talk of the future ones is incessant and they must be the center of attention so when you show any signs of it is met with little to no reaction because essentially you are stealing the spotlight. This disturbs them immensely so they double down to create a bigger sense of doubt in the dynamic for the victim by using coercion, attention seeking behaviors or domination in any way they can. At this point they’ve had you as vulnerable as a trembling animal. We forgive the arguments, the blame, the gaslighting that projects their instability and self hatred onto you. Before you know it you are paralyzed … you only want the person you believed them to be in the beginning to admit they hurt you. The mask is gone , but you hold it in your hands and they reach for the next.
When the Mask Drops
They get angry and panic. What you see next can range from further verbal abuse, physical abuse, exploitation and empty apologies that are twisted with lies and deflections. There is never full accountability because it is YOUR fault all of this is happening. The verbal, physical, SA, etc all of it. The absolute biggest and loudest characteristic is lack of empathy. They may talk about it, act as if they are working on themselves and talk of their faults not being accepted and even say that they will never do it again in an apology note or essay.. they won’t.
your voice = Power …
They can and will repeat the same narratives and tell the same stories with different names each time. We are all Jane Doe! To once again reiterate This is not just a pathologized diagnostic excuse. I do not condone any behavior regardless of diagnosis. Empath’s such as myself are prime targets. We must understand what abuse is and we all must play our role in making it UNACCEPTABLE.
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
You are not alone if you have been through this and you can survive the aftermath. Above all the information and replaying of the “material “ they fed you knowing your truth and worth is where you find peace again. Seeing the fall of the narcissist is the beginning of the healing of our earth and love will always prevail. What is done in the dark behind the mask always comes to light. Stand firm in your truth and do not be afraid to ask for help. If you have made it through this long informative blurb you get it. This is something very close to my heart and I thank you for taking the time to “tune in.” Together we heal.
Related reading: There Is Nothing Wrong With You and From Heaviness to Healing in Therapy.
In Gratitude,
Carey B.
Divine Feminine Rising… calling all Divine Masculines to the roar with us.. we see you ..
“They swore it would never happen again.”
“Hate is the compliment of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.”
healing does not have to hurt: connect for free consult
I offer therapy across multiple states via telehealth while based in New Orleans, LA.
